...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
