my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
