i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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