we're blogging at a bar
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
