I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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