NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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