It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
