i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
