yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
how drunk are you?
Several
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
