Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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