I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
