I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
