I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
