The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
