do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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