I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
