i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
