I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
