coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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