I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Houston, we have a blender
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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