Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
