Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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