actually, I'm a sock model
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
