my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You ruined the universe
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