well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
