cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
