I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
