does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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