I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Is Oprah even human
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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