Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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