It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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