Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
