You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
