ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
