Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
