i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
