Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
