OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
