THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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