in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
