is your mom at the bar?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
