just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
