oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
