I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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