And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
