My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
