The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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