Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize