My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Can Purell be used as lube?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
