I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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