you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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